In the dark night sky
the flat honk of geese announce
“You’re being unreasonable.”
She wants to pound the meat of her fists against stone.
Press them against the blank canvas of her face.
Leave behind a bright butterfly of rage,
And scream that life is not all reason.
In fact –
Much of what she’s been taught is irrational and unreasonable.
That “you’re being unreasonable” truly means, “you’re not cooperating with what I want”.
This is her experience.
This is what she learned as a child.
Not truth. Nothing so pure as reason.
She doesn’t complain. Doesn’t cause trouble.
What does a good girl get?
Nothing but crumbs of peace. Stolen solitude.
What does a good girl become?
An angry woman.
(February 22, 2009)
lies abluted at road side
by warm, summer rain
You were a giant.
No small wonder my world shook
the morning you fell.
(tribute to my father who passed 6.19.10)
You, wearing painted scales
and extension blinders,
fettering vision of two and
third eye blind.
You see only your blemish,
But I see you true;
I see your unicorn soul.
I will love you with a child’s heart.
Full of trust – openly, wholly, unwilling to share, with gifts of crayoned art.
I will love you with the heart of a teen.
Full of idealism – temperamentally, jealously, with your name written over and over on my possessions.
I will love you with a mother’s heart.
Full to overflowing – patiently, proudly, with open arms, bandaids, and cookies still warm from the oven.
I will love you with the heart of a soldier.
Full of honor – diligently, protectively, always on guard and at attention.
I will love you with a thief’s heart.
Full of greed – stealthily, quietly, stuffing my pockets with your treasures.
I will love you with the heart of a coward.
Full of fear – diffidently, cravenly, my belly scraping the ground as I plead for mercy.
I will love you with a fiery heart.
Full of heat – passionately, dangerously, offering you heat and destruction.
I will love you with the heart of an artist.
Full of vision – colorfully, boldly, creating monuments to your beauty.
I will love you with a human’s heart.
Full of caprice – unsteadily, undeservingly, with feet of clay and Achilles’ heel.
I will love you with all my heart.
All my flawed, bleeding, feeble heart.
*’undeservingly’ fit better somehow than ‘undeservedly’ (even though it’s not a real word). It’s poetry; I make my own words.
I want to set the dogs on it.
Ferret it out of the darkness.
Startle it from its hidey-hole.
Make it bolt. Make it run, panicked.
Blind, naked, revolting, furless parasite.
And when they fall on it,
I want them to rip out its hammering heart.
Rend it to pieces.
Call the dogs.
Written for a friend diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in May 2014. Mike passed on January 19, 2015. Rest in peace, friend.